Care More

The other day, I reflected on the idea that to care more about the people and things that matter in my life, I need to choose to care less about the things that don't. It's not easy, but it's essential to cut out the things that don't matter—like certain activities, people, or thoughts. Who and what these are can be fluid. This process helps me prioritize my relationships, have more meaningful connections, and work towards goals that genuinely matter to me. I think when I hit mid-life, I began to take account of the wasteful energy I've given to things that do not matter a lot or that I have very little control over.

I've been putting this into practice lately, and it's made a difference. Instead of obsessing over what others think or giving my perspective on something when it is not asked for or valued, I can focus on being more engaged, supportive, and understanding while only offering my opinion when asked or truly necessary. It's incredible how much better I can listen and engage in a conversation when I'm not constantly worrying about others' perceptions or positioning myself to give an opinion. I'll still share my thoughts and opinions, but I am more conscious of the cost. A lot of the time, it's not worth it. I rarely give it if it is not asked for or proven to be valued. This has created less conflict in my soul. I find myself replaying conversations from the day much less than I used to. Who doesn't want better sleep?

Another thing I've noticed is how much more I can appreciate the little moments that make life unique when I'm not bogged down by the distractions that consume my thoughts. By being more present, I can show kindness and encouragement to those around me, and I'm making a point to express gratitude for the people and things that truly matter. I've not done this well in my life, but I have been inspired by others who do this well. Being present for someone or with someone matters. Especially these days when distractions are everywhere, our phones take priority over the ones we are with.

Taking care of myself and setting healthy boundaries is essential for caring for others and being more in the moment. Part of that means letting go of things I can't control and focusing on my own well-being—like prioritizing exercise, getting outdoors, and, recently, writing. My mind can quickly become overwhelmed with thoughts about anything; some days, it is a strength, and others, it can be a weakness. I am beginning to acknowledge this and find ways to ensure it is a strength most days. Writing has helped.

Lastly, I've learned from my wife that one way to show we care more is to celebrate the important things with the people we care about! Birthdays or any big milestones—these are the moments that speak value to our relationships. I've begun to expect less of others and more of myself in this area. Embracing this shift in perspective has made a difference in my life. I've become more aware of those around me and, hopefully, less self-centered.

So, here's the thing—by choosing to care less about the unimportant, we actually have a greater ability to care more for the people and things we value in our lives, the important. Care more about those you love. Care more about your friendships. Care more about your health; mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional. Care more about how you treat people. Care more about the passions you have in your life. Care more about being in the moment. Care more about your peace of mind.