Smile

As I grow older, I find human behavior increasingly fascinating. Ever been in a situation, say, a meeting or a family gathering, where you understood people more through their body language than their words?

Paying attention to these signals allows us to understand others better and interact more strategically in these environments.

I vividly recall a day at the Spyscape Museum in New York City with my son. In another life, I would have been a CIA agent; even today, Homeland remains my favorite show of all time. While the museum wasn't a training ground in human behavior, it emphasized understanding cues through body language.

A remarkable book on this subject is "The Laws of Human Nature" by Robert Greene. This is a guide to understanding human behavior, personality types, and worldviews. It teaches you to treat life like a game, fostering an understanding of your 'opponents,' while maintaining self-control. To some level, we all do this. We just use terminology such as "being professional".

The reality is life is a single-player game. You’re born alone. You’re going to die alone. All of your interpretations are alone. All your memories are alone. You’re gone in three generations and nobody cares. Before you showed up, nobody cared. It’s all single-player."- Naval Ravikant

While far from an expert, I've learned the strategic value of a smile in the different environments I am a part of. It's a tool to mask emotions, induce confusion when emotions deviate from expectations, and maintain emotional control. Despite attempts to hold back words, our feelings often shine through our body language. I've learned to be aware of this, especially regarding my facial expressions.

Now, in times of frustration or uncertainty, a confident smile masks my negative emotions. This composure often leads to better outcomes than if I let my negativity take over. It's important to remember, our body often reacts before we comprehend our feelings. While it's healthy to acknowledge our emotions, we must control how we project them. Growing emotional intelligence is crucial. This enhanced understanding of emotions, ours and others, facilitates better use of nonverbal cues, such as smiles.

Striving for authenticity in our interactions doesn't mean we must always allow for our vulnerabilities to be seen by others. It's about exercising self-control and understanding the impact of our emotions. A well-timed smile can be more helpful than an impulsive reaction. Having someone who understands us, even behind our masks, is essential. We need relationships that foster openness and honesty. My wife and a small circle of friends are that to me.

Over the years, I've learned that not everyone deserves access to my vulnerabilities. By strategically controlling our emotions, we maintain control in "the game", while understanding others' tendencies. Think of it like a sports game film; understand yourself and those around you to be the best version in this game called life.